WordPress After Dark: Something you don’t know about me. My secret will shock you if you know me

I’m sure later I will regret this post and delete it but I’m in my feelings. This time of the year, Thanksgiving and Christmas, has that effect on people. But mines is a anniversary. 

I’m a widower. Got married at 22 to my high school/college sweetheart. The thing I always remember about my wife was how exceptional of a communicator she was. The perfect example of this was during the scariest moment of our lives together: The day she got kidnapped. When this psycho called and told me his demands I told him I wasn’t going to meet them unless he put my wife on the phone. I needed to make sure she was still alive. Of all the things my wife could have said on the phone in this terrifying moment, she told me to check on Sashmoe, our dog. Told me she needed to go for a walk. I checked on Sashmoe and saw red stains around her mouth. It was blood. She bit one of the kidnappers. And that’s how federal agents ended up catching them bastards. Every pharmacy was on the look out for anyone coming in for treatment for a dog bite. Can you imagine seeing someone you love standing and breathing the same air as you when you thought the next time you saw them they was gone be lying in a casket and out of breath? To see my baby girl running towards me was and still is the highlight of my life. Everything look good in slo-mo my ass! We grew wings and flew to each other. Afterall, she was an angel on earth. And I know it’s confirmed in the afterlife. I can still feel her arms wrapped around me 6 years later. Yeah, that was some hug! 
2 years after that event, cancer took her life before we got a chance to prolong it with a baby or 10. 

“Yeah, cancer sucks!” I text that randomly sometimes to people I talk to as an indirect way to share my pain. They always thought it was a general statement. They also didn’t know my real reason for never wanting to get married and have kids. This also explains my last post, my lack of motivation to meet new people. Now you know. I lost that when I lost her. 

I cry myself to sleep over it every night. 

One day I won’t wake up. 🐻✈️

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