I haven’t flown in 7 years

I wish I could go back in time and just observe my mental state the day before I stepped on my first airplane 7 years ago. I’m sure it was similar to what I’m going through tonight. 7 years ago still was post 9/11. But at least last time it was in June, my birthday weekend. This time we’re in the neighborhood of the 14th anniversary. As of right now, I don’t have any bubble gum to chew during the plane (I vividly recall a co-worker recommending I do to prevent my ears from popping).

I want to get a good night’s rest tonight. But as you know when anticipating something big the next day it’s hard to concentrate on sleep. I wanna be up in 5 hours to take a shower. Other than that, I’m ready. Everything is ironed, folded, and neatly squished in my Russell Simmon’s duffle, which I hope is allowed to be my carry-on. Please allow! Cause it has no locks on it and I love my Docker khakis. Plus I need my $25 man.

Reason I’m writing this post is because I don’t really have no one to talk to about this. I have no circle. It’s times like these when I feel like my introversion and loner disposition backfired on me. I know I don’t need to be this big people person but at least those introverts and loners still have that ONE person that GETS them. Rather than be a family member or friend. At present I don’t have that one person. It’s no one’s fault but mines. I did all of this deliberately. I just don’t like majority of people and don’t like when people get close to me. I feel weird and awkward. Like I need to live up to someone else’s expectation. I do need to put myself out there more. I do. But whenever I’m in the appropriate environment I say to myself, “That person doesn’t look worth my time.”

That’s my reason for this midnight post.

Advertisements

What Are Your Thoughts?

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s